Darth Vader needs Egoscue

This was forwarded to me by Sara, one of our therapists in the Virginia Egoscue clinic. It’s hilarious.

Darth Vader needs Egoscue

At a recent trip to the movies to see the newest edition of the Star Wars series, I was struck by something while watching the film. Darth Vader needs Egoscue!

Now, before you dismiss my claim as being ridiculous, let me explain my logic.

1) Vader has no right arm. With his right arm being a mechanical prosthesis, he must have created some compensation patterns that will show up in his shoulder or upper back. To avoid this inevitability, he should begin a menu immediately. The longer he waits, the greater the compensation will be.

2) He wears a big helmet. As far as I can tell, he rarely takes off that helmet. Not only is it probably a bit smelly in there, it looks heavy. That has to put undue strain on his neck and upper back. After all, he is Darth Vader, not Superman.

3) He has breathing trouble. Triggering the diaphragm is essential to any Egoscue program. He probably is also keeping his abdominal muscles too tight, but I doubt anyone has ever told him to “relax his belly.” If we can get him to find his diaphragm, he might not be such a heavy breather.

4) He is all stressed out. Ruling the galaxy and betraying all of your comrades can really be taxing on the psyche. I have never seen anyone more in need of a good Static Back and some belly breathing. Darth, set aside a little “you” time.

5) Using the Dark side of the Force can make you lazy. Making things float through the air and then engaging in a light saber duel is a bit like being a weekend warrior. Use it or lose it, Darth.

To avoid ending up like Darth Vader, make sure you get your Egoscue menu updated today. If you wait too long, the Dark side might get you, too.

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